back to school, stress, homework…bleh

i have to say though, coming back to this apartment in austin is a TON more fun than going back to the dorms over the past 3 years.. while my roommates this year are great, i think its more because i have my own room, my own space. after all, my roommates over the past couple years have been pretty good too =)

or maybe i’ve grown up and have stopped missing home as much when i’m up here? and it’s taken me 3.5 years to get to this point?
nah, i’m pretty sure that’s not it. home = family = people who love me unconditionally. home = no work = relax = bum around all day.
then again, home = harder to meet up with people = more hermit/family time
…which i don’t mind, when i’m at home.

actually, i haven’t really met up with anyone here yet, as i’m still in my hermit/bum around mode..i think it’ll take some time to ease back to the college mentality.

the thing is, when i’m home, i love being home (usually). i’m sad when i have to leave home for school. and then when i try to get used to this life again, i get easily overwhelmed by the stress, which stems from my horrible procrastination tendencies – people said i’d figure study habits out by my sophomore year..not true! i’m incorrigible =( (trying to work on my vocab as gmats are next tuesday and i have yet to study..anyone surprised? probably not) 4th year and i still don’t know how to motivate myself, to make myself want to do things, to make myself keep up. i always put off till later what i can, always take my fun time now, people time now, blog time now. homework? studying? reading? no thanks. so stress leads to short term mild depression (or something like it), which is no fun.
actually, thinking about all this… that was just back in the dorms. or maybe just 2nd year. i’m pretty sure stress has led to just sleep this past year. so scratch that dark stuff =) i sleep instead of doing homework and..try to get by after that. no wonder my gpa is slowly sinking
but then after awhile in school, i’m happy to stay here. especially when i don’t have to do anymore work and i’m just here to play with people =) then i try to prolong my time here as long as possible, thinking life will be boring at home with nothing to do, not as many people to constantly play with…

i’ll never stop saying this: i’m a creature of habit.

that was a rather long ramble about nothing new. but as xanga has turned into a once-a-month post, i’m allowed to type as long as i want =)

i wish…i felt more passionate about..1. and 2.
las year’s was pretty rough in one area, and i would like this year to be better… so far it hasn’t panned out, but it’s only january, right?

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