wow. the last time i signed onto xanga was..quite awhile ago. over the summer, more than likely.
my last post was..in july, towards the middle of my internship.
i guess it’s just a mark of how old xanga is (and, as an extension, how old i am) to be able to click and read through my subscription updates since then in the span of 15min, ~4 pages.
about 63% of ex-xanga-ians have now switched to other, newer blogging sites, and another 30% have stopped blogging altogether.
the new blogging space looks different; cleaner, less cluttered. bigger.
several weeks ago, i was talking to a friend, who mentioned a timeless book. this book, in their opinion, would never grow old. it’d be something they could pick up and read over and over again.
yeah, i’d read the book as well – in middle or high school – once. for class. it was one of the better ones, easier to read. in my mind, it had been nothing special, except that it was more enjoyable to complete than some of the more tedious reads. looking back, i’d like to think i enjoyed reading all the required books; some just took a lot longer because of the language and ways they were written.
anyway, i went home a little while after that conversation and decided to give that specific book another chance. while getting that book out of my bookshelf, i came across other required reads from elementary, middle, and high school (i placed all “school” books on the same shelf – not unlike half price books) and decided to bring up some of them to austin as well.
over the summer, i would read a lot at home after working, mainly because tv wasn’t very interesting in singapore – i’d only watch about one show a day, if we were at home at the right time – and internet wasn’t very reliable. i’d play monopoly deal with my mom and sister, but there wasn’t much else to do at night. so instead of falling asleep to the tv, i’d fall asleep holding onto a book. it was fun; i enjoyed it.
back here, however, i waste all my time online or watching tv. so i told myself over the summer that i’d try to cut down on “background tv” (where i’d leave it on a program i’m half interested in just as background sound but eventually spend enough time watching it anyway) and spend more time reading, like i used to do back in the day…
i just finished re-reading (for the ????th time) “A Wrinkle in Time” by Madeleine L’Engle. it was required reading in elementary school; i’m not sure how long i’ve owned this book… but i remember enjoying it and reading it over again several times over the years. i guess it’s been awhile since my last read, though, because it really surprised me this time. in a “what in the world..how did i miss this when i read it before??” way. as in…when did all the God-references pop in? when did the Bible verses magically appear? i mean, this must have all been a recent addition to my very old book, right? because why is this the first time i’ve noticed them??
as of now, it’s enough. it’s enough for me to have noticed these references. i haven’t analyzed the book thoroughly or tried to find out how exactly this links to Christianity, but i’m ok with that. it’s something i probably would have done two or three years ago, but for now i’ll save it – for my next read.
so why is this important now? for the simple fact that God is pretty cool. i haven’t been his most faithful daughter for almost half a year now, since the start of last summer. it’s easy to do the right things, say the right things, easy to be a “good” and “nice” person – and not to toot my own horn, but i think i do all these things to a passable level. but this isn’t what faith is about. this isn’t what being a Christ-follower is about. it’s about the heart, about the mind, about everything… i’ve been doing all these things, but it just adds up to my being a “nice” person in this world. i procrastinate on homework (to an unhealthy extent), and i’ve been procrastinating on God. “personal relationship/ walk with Him?” “oh yeah…i’ll work on that later. when i’m done with this.” “read His Word?” “umm..it’s not an organizationally good time to start…the new year would be better..makes more sense..” i’ve been half-heartedly talking to God sometimes, when i remember, when i’m willing to set aside a few minutes (only a few out of the 1440 i have daily??)
last week, i realized how my advice sucks, because it doesn’t have the weight of the Bible behind it – instead of speaking or advising from God’s words, i’ve been using my own. me vs God? yeahhh..”no contest” (i’m hearing this in the supersmash bros booming voice). so i decided to start reading again. and it lasted for all of..half a week.
what’s this mean? God meets us where we are. most definitely. i ignore His own personal Book and pick up an elementary school novel instead, and it didn’t matter. He’s already got it covered. He knows me, knows my faults, and accepts me unconditionally. Friends, you’re all nice people, and i’m grateful for all of you, but God hasn’t, doesn’t, will never fail. I fail Him time after time, and He’s still coming after me…
He’s got me covered.
as a sidenote, if my business communications prof ever read this, she’d probably kill me painfully. and slowly. there are way too many “i”s in this thing..