i feel like…
to keep up with the business-related things in my life (business world/torturous classes/neverending events) i have to give up my life.
well not in the literal sense, but when all these things crop up, i can’t help but feel like i’m stuck under a heavy load of business, my life (the social/fun/relaxing things i used to do in semesters past) ebbing away ever so slowly. and maybe this is what i have to do to get back on track, to grow my lack of discipline back to where it used to be (well that’s highly improbable, so just to get it increasing again instead of being stagnant is good enough for me). except i’m not willing to dedicate so much of my life to business – is it really that unusual to dislike the field in which my major lies? not that i’m that certain about my major…
but i can’t help but look around me, at the people who are having fun learning what they do (despite the disgruntled complaints about work and studying). i look at myself, and even though the profs are nice, the work could def be much harder than what i’m getting, i don’t like it. any of it. or..at least i don’t think i do as of now. then those thoughts come back again…. am i doing something really wrong? am i missing all the signs? am i just being stubborn?
except the truth is, even considering all my options, i don’t have anything i really want to study. there are plenty of things that i wouldn’t mind doing – heck i might even have fun doing them – but they’re not practical, and they sure do not require that much knowledge. it’s more of.. hard labor without the “hard” aspect haha
-i don’t want to be an engineer. dislike physics.
-don’t want to be a doctor. don’t mind science classes, but…even more school? more of this life? and i don’t want to check up on people or be responsible for their lives.
-don’t want to overanalyze even more than i already do, so no shrinking, please.
-don’t want to create lesson plans and be responsible for the knowledge (or lack of) of little kids.
-wouldn’t know what to do with writing and lack artistic abilities
-dislike business world.
whoops. i think i just nixed all my choices. isn’t life grand?
so here i am, halfway through with my major, sacrificing the things i like to make room for the things i dread. why do all the people in the world of business need to talk so much? are there no introverts in that field? maybe all the introverts are busy shrinking and listening to the overstressed extroverted businessmen who can’t help but wonder… if i disliked it so much, should i have done it completely differently?
people like me
God, some help would be greatly appreciated…