omgsh. it took me approximately 5 minutes of clicking and waiting and error messages (runtime error + the page you clicked on doesn’t exist) to finally get to this page to type -_-

sigh. i hate having thoughts that either are so personal i don’t want to put them even on xanga, or are so fleeting i don’t remember enough to make an actual entry. i hate how even when i have things to say, they’ve gone from flowing paragraphs of linked words to bits and pieces of choppy phrases. i just want to write, to let it all out… but how? i’ve seem to have lost it, at least for now.

and thus, the only update i can give is that i have no further motivation to do my work, to keep up with reading. it all sounds great in theory, and i’ll always look back and despair at my fickleness, or rather, my wimpy will and lack of discipline – but as the days go by, i look at the books and think, there’s always tomorrow. or.. i’d rather sleep and waste my time on that, than on reading on and on. and when tomorrow comes, i put it off yet again, for the to-do list has lengthened considerably, unthinkably.

but perhaps this is what it means by With God, all things are made possible.