last sunday (yesterday, rather) pastor dick talked about fellowship… how a christian fellowship should be one in truth (believe and follow the truth), righteousness (take action, change), and love (nothing means anything without love first)
[verses from 1John]
i really like 1John 4:11-12 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
sounds so simple.. just love and everything will be ok.. haha why is loving others so hard though… kinda like forgiving.. why does it take so much to forgive, even though we know we should..
everything life-related sounds so easy when you think about it.. your mind knows you have to, you should.. and then when it comes to actual actions.. your heart’s more of.. i don’t want to.. if that makes sense. well.. at least that’s how i feel. i’m sure there are many people out there who are really great at all this and make it seem so simple.  for them (no offense), sometimes i’m just like.. if it’s that easy for you, is it real?
..does forgetting equate to forgiving?
..does everything go back to normal? really?

anyways, to go back to fellowship vs friendship…
he talked about how we often mistake one for the other, or use them interchangably i guess…
but Christian friendships are different from Christian fellowships in that fellowships are centered around our relationships in and with Jesus Christ, whereas friendships are centered around similarities and hobbies and stuff like that..
and then he stressed the importance of Christian fellowship..
it gave me something new to think about, mainly because when i hear “fellowship”, i think AACM or Epic or something.. a group of people… but the way he phrased it was more of a “fellowship-type friendship” (at least to me..)
while i’m probably guilty of having more “friendships” than “fellowship-friendships”, i also have to add that i wouldn’t be able to have fellowship if people weren’t my friends first.  it’s possible, but i’m not one to share in a manner that deep with those who aren’t first friends.  friends, and not acquaintances.  i mean, yes, i can talk about God-stuff to Christians, but if there’s no friendship – or even the possibility of a deepening friendship – i’d feel strange sharing the personal things and just stick to the surface level stuff instead…
this reminded me of what we’re trying to do in NSM this year though – be more intentional with spiritual conversation during one-on-ones with new students.  i really like the idea, because it shows that we’re here for something greater than our own personal agendas, but if i myself am not comfortable with sharing with people who may or may not become friends… who am i to insist that they do just that?  it just gets..awkward, unless the other person is really that open (which a lot of people are, so that’s good)
maybe this is just another area in my life that needs work.. i guess we’ll just see as the year goes on =)

also, i finally read a d2s email today.. it was about spiritual gifts. so i went to the site to check it out, and some possibilities are (based on definitions and the little test i took): service, helps, exhortation
hrm.. dunno where that’ll lead me in life, but it’s a start!

anyways…some of the more..tangible goals:
– no sports news (including fantasy bball) except on fridays (maybe weekends in general)…
– facebook replies from now on will only happen at nights
– facebook time will be limited.. haven’t set the limit yet >.<
– computer time will be limited; email checking once an hour or every two hours or something.. but nothing else. (except for school-related stuff)
– only xanga is completely open, cuz i like this form of journaling =)
– online convos limited to 20-30 min unless important
– more intentional about meals with others – to get to know people better!
– GOD FIRST. (ironic cuz i’ve written it in last…)

hopefully it can happen.. i NEED to cut down on my time wasting..