it’s pretty interesting…
the different ways God makes us feel better, feel comforted, feel loved
and it’s specifically tailored to us all.. like He has something special for each and every one of us =)

i dunno if this is something that i’ve noticed for quite awhile, or something that’s just been piling up and it’s finally reached the threshold of my noticing, or something that just happened to pop up as i try desperately not to fall so far behind on my 2nd day in these classes

regardless, it’s true.

in my case, it’s through conversation… not the silly superficial two minute conversations we’re taught in business..not small talk, but real, getting-to-know-you-personally conversations. and yeah, i can do this face-to-face with a select few (even i’m not exactly sure who those few are..but i’m sure they have to exist, right? i’m pretty sure i’m just not thinking hard enough cuz i’m more focused on the next part..and finishing up so i can get back to reading…)
but mostly i’m thinking about emails. a lot of people love getting mail in their mailboxes. i’m sure i wouldn’t mind and that it’s fun, but i’ve realized that receiving special personal emails, those responses that are a month in waiting, from people i count myself blessed to hear from, whether it’s because i don’t really know them, they don’t really know me, they have better things to do with their time..whatever the reasons, i always feel really comforted by God (and they might not even be Christian!) whenever i get to read whatever new words they’ve replied with =)
and i know i said earlier it’s the “real” conversations, but it doesn’t even have to be deep… just knowing that they’re open to responding, open to taking that little bit of time, open to communication, open period. i think that’s what matters…

i know i had more to say, but my mind just wanders…

i can’t think of all the times where i’m feeling a little down or lonely or just not up to it, and i refresh my inbox to find a random email from a random person whom i might have emailed days ago, months ago… even if it’s not long, it’s still something =)
and then i feel the warmth cascading over me, God’s way of saying hey remember me? don’t feel this way, i’m here.

haha ok i just realized i’m pretty repetitive in my posts, but oh well

hence my writing tons of emails to tons of people. i think nowadays whenever i need a break, i just think of someone to email (or fb msg) and spend a little time doing that.. and then i feel just a little lighter.
cuz the way i see it..if people think i’m being a nuisance, the delete button’s not that hard to find. but if even one person i write to feels the way i do about emails and letters or whatnot, then…


[haha sidenote: maybe i like xanga entries cuz they’re (along with journals) in a way emails i write to myself and then read either when i submit or at a later time…]