so the past few days, i’ve realized that most of my xanga entries thus far for the year have been simple spews of random (or not so random) thoughts in my head. i have yet to write words of substance, words that i can look upon sometime in the future and recollect all that happened in the past. i was scrolling through my old posts, looking for anything that wasn’t merely a few lines of scattered thoughts, and while i understood the feelings going through my head or my heart or whatever feelings go through, there were many times i could not remember exactly why i wrote the things i did. as in, the specific circumstances that caused that particular post. i suppose this is why i should journal consistently, and not just when life takes a serious downturn and becomes crappy. then perhaps i can match up my personal writings and my internet blogs…

i randomly find things to expound upon in my daily life, in my walks around campus, in..whatever each moment brings. but at those times, i either am not near my computer, or i have to do something else first. and then the moment passes. and by the time i get back on xanga, it’s too late. all i have left are those fleeting thoughts, not enough for actual paragraphs and what i deem “flow-y language”, what i enjoy reading when i delve back into the past.

while this post has been a significant upgrade from those of the past few weeks, it still leaves me unsatisfied. but this will have to do for the time being, as finals start in approximately 12 hrs and 50 min. luckily, mine don’t start until 2pm tomorrow. as my week of exams looks like this:
wed 5/7 2-5 (statistics), 7-10 (accounting)
sat 5/10 9-12 (microbio2)
tues 5/13 9-12 (ochem2)
i feel the need to impress upon myself the importance of studying. these grades DO matter (except maybe statistics, but it would quite suck if i screw up horribly and mess up my one “easy” A of the semester…)
the last two seem almost like lost causes, until the point that messing up on these exams would probably cause me to fail smacks me on the head… and then i start feeling the beginnings of what some people call an adrenaline rush, but i see more as “stress” and “panic”.

a pity, for it takes the impending finals, the beginning of the end, to grasp that this could possibly be the end of an era. and what an era it was…
but alas.. there is no time. studying now takes priority over my life for the upcoming days (hopefully). and everyone knows there is no place for excessive wordiness and flowery language in the business world.

change ahead. multiple ones. dead ahead. wonder what it’ll be like…
guess i’ll find out soon enough.
time sure flies.

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