man its amazing how much time i waste on a daily basis… in a blink of an eye, my day is pretty much over… and no i don’t mean just through naps… it’s like… where’d the day go?? clueless…

tuesday was pretty hectic, but i guess looking back on it, God was full of grace (and, btw, why does that mean something different than “graceful”? ..graceful = elegant or like.. something to that extent, but not full of grace, whereas merciful means full of mercy… ok i guess awful isn’t full of aw or awe either, but sigh.. my logic fails me at the moment >.<).. but yeah He brought me through the day intact and without much stress (as compared to the workload of the day)

and then today i just wasted my day.. unfortunately…

anyways, i remembered what i was thinking about yesterday with all that listening…
do i like talking?
i never thought i did… i always thought i was an inward thinking, reserved, quiet person. and yeah i’m inward thinking and somewhat reserved in the fact that i’m introspective and dwell a lot on my thoughts and think a great deal about life, and i guess… proportionately how much i say compared to how much i think makes me somewhat quiet??
but then i compare how much i say (to people i know and can talk to), and it’s like… i’m a never-ending chatterbox, with the most random things to go on about… course, i’m also a mute when i’m around people i’m not 100% comfortable with, or like newish people who i can’t really connect or relate to? i guess i needa work on that =
i wish i could be more.. in the middle…. less extreme…
then again, i think i’m kinda extreme in everything i do.. even productivity-wise, either i’m 100% lazy or it’s the “you bother me right now you die” mindset…

oh well. this is why life is not meant to be reasoned out and understood…

it’s pretty much another universe out there right now…. crazy sounding winds that i feel might blow me away if i were to step out, and at one point i heard crashing thunder, which was a little scary… hopefully there aren’t any people out and about with this weather… man it sounds like i’m going through a plane’s jets/propellers thing or something…

i don’t think i’m in one of my more contemplative moods.. a pity cuz the topic itself is somewhat thought-provoking and i wish i could be more eloquent about it…

answered prayers (and just praying in general) never cease to amaze me
skeptics may label it “chance” or “mere coincidence”, but i think even the most insistent mathematicians and scientists realize sooner or later that too many coincidences adding up prove the existence of something more than just coincidence….

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