I never knew fortune cookies could be so wise…

“Today, your charm will have them singing like birds.”
i wonder who the “them” in that fortune was…  i’m guessing this is supposed to be a good thing, to make “them” sing like birds… so these birds must be the melodic kind…not like parrots or crows or blackbirds or whatnots…ducks…and what charm do they speak of? it’s like the little slips of paper have knowledge nobody else could possibly fathom… they know of “charm” making “them” sing when i have no clue what my “charm” is, nor who the “them” are… now i know… “them” are fantastic singers.. i’ll be keeping an eye out for those..

“Don’t fret. All your friends will be able to zig whenever you zag.”
a zebra comes to mind… i guess this means friends complement “you”.. or “you” are just..abnormal and strange to accidentally zag when “you” are obviously supposed to zig, as evidenced by the swarm of friends going in the other direction… unless “you” don’t really have that many friends, in which case this “fortune” is just an unhappy reminder of that sad fact…

i wonder if people actually take fortune cookie fortunes seriously..especially after they added those “let’s learn some chinese” phrases in the back, because, of course, “thanks” in pinyin is “xia xia ne” (i see that as “down down [redundant chinese participial phrase]), and “have money” is “yao chean” (uhh.. “want”… uhh… “chean”) … cantonese phrases, perhaps?